When Life Gives You Lemons

A little life update is in store for you today. Was this my initial plan? Nope. Did I have to pivot? Absolutely. Was I frustrated about it? Yup. But here I am—I showed up. And I’m proving to myself that when it came time to make a change, even without anyone to consult, I figured it out… and it worked for me.

There’s been a changing of the guard over here at Heather Bean Oyler, LLC. I’m now flying solo—making all the decisions, building my content, and trusting my gut. It hasn’t always been easy. At first, I felt upset, hurt, and overwhelmed. But I made the choice to trust myself and lean in. So, here it is: my first blog in quite a while. I’m doing life, learning as I go, and reminding myself—I’ve got this.

Originally, this blog wasn’t in the plan. I had something fashion-forward sketched out, outfits picked, links ready. I was so excited. But life tossed me some lemons. And instead of crying over them, I made lemonade.

Over the weekend, I hurt my back. (Still not sure exactly what I did.) Saturday, it was sore but manageable. By Sunday night, I was in so much pain I couldn’t get comfortable in any position. Walking hurt. Sleeping? Barely happened. Monday morning I could hardly move.

I’ve had chronic back issues for years, so I called my chiropractor. He attempted an adjustment, followed by dry needling and acupuncture. It helped a little, but relief was minimal. The next day, I booked a deep-tissue massage—90 minutes of focus on my lower back, glutes, and hips. I felt looser leaving that appointment, enough to cook myself a simple dinner and move with a little more ease.

But this morning? Pure magic.

I returned to the chiropractor, and the amount of movement and release I experienced during my adjustment was life-changing. I stood up and felt taller—like my hips weren’t pulling inward. For the first time in days, I could walk without pain. It was wild. Healing magic.

Last night while I was in bed, I kept thinking about how I could still try to push through with the original blog plan. Maybe I’d squeeze in photos and links and post it a day late. But then I reminded myself of the promise I made: to be authentic, to roll with it, and not force anything. If I had pushed the original plan, it wouldn’t have landed the way I hoped. So instead, I leaned into the lemons. And I’m okay with that.

A lot has been happening behind the scenes lately, so this blog is a little peek behind the curtain. Some of these moments will get their own blogs eventually—but for now, let’s hit the highlights.

Life Updates

1. The Divorce Appeal

At the end of March, I rehired my original divorce attorney to file an appeal of the court’s final judgment. It’s a long story that I’ll dive into once the appeal wraps up (hopefully by the end of 2025 or early 2026). It was a tough—and expensive—decision, but I know it’s the right one for my future. I refuse to let my ex-husband (and abuser) continue to control the narrative. Enough is enough.

2. April Blues

April was rough. My mom’s birthday hit hard—it’s been five years since I’ve been able to give her a hug. Add in other out-of-my-control stressors, and my mental health took a dip. Depression and anxiety crept in. But I used every tool in my healing toolbox. I recognized what was happening, asked for support, and worked through it. I’m proud of how I handled it. Coping doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re strong and self-aware.

3. A Friendship Ending

Also in April, I lost a close friendship and professional relationship. That one hurt. I don’t let people in easily, and I love deeply when I do. It felt like a betrayal when someone I trusted turned cold, unsupportive, or used personal things I’d shared against me. Friendship in your 40s—especially when you’re single and don’t have kids—can feel isolating. I was really down for a while. But then I stood up, dusted myself off, and reminded myself who’s in my corner: me.

4. May Magic

May was a mix of beauty and breakthroughs. It kicked off with an unforgettable trip to Chicago: the Symphony, a spa day at The Langham, shopping, and dinner at SMYTH (yes, I tried lamb brains—once-in-a-lifetime moment!). It was indulgent, exciting, and so needed.

Mid-May, I was invited to attend the National Restaurant Association Show and my foodie heart exploded. I tried incredible dishes, met one of my brand partners (shoutout to David’s Cookies!), and had memorable meals at Bavette’s and Nobu. Full food blog to come soon, but in the meantime—use code HEATHERBEANOYLER for 20% off at David’s Cookies!

5. Champagne Goal: First Paid Collab!

Also in May, I hit a major milestone: my first paid collaboration. Not a gifted collab. Not commission-based. An actual paid to post moment. I popped a mini champagne bottle I’d tied to this goal and celebrated on the rooftop with a friend (Maggie included!). This was one of those “I’m doing the damn thing” moments. And it felt incredible.

6. A Gut Punch

Unfortunately, May also brought some upsetting news. My abuser is actively seeking to have his criminal conviction—secured through an Alford Plea—expunged. That hit me like a freight train. The anxiety was intense. I have a lot of thoughts to share on that soon, but I’m still processing. Stay tuned.

Looking Ahead

May was a whirlwind—highs, lows, full of growth and surprises. But I didn’t wait for a perfect moment to pivot. I made the moment. I made decisions without anyone’s permission, and I did it on my own. That’s a win.

Now, bring on Summer 2025.

This is the first summer in years where I feel excited. I’m in the best health and shape of my life. I’m legally divorced. I’m surrounded by people who see me. I’m proud of where I am and I can’t wait to share more.

Thanks for being here on this wild ride with me.

With love,

Heather

Some special May moments: